I remember
how it felt
to be beaten
how it felt to be broken
how it felt to be dark
how it felt
to be so helpless
how the men tried to ******* me
how I even in my place of terror
refused
how I always chose life
even when all the parts in me
begged for death
I remember how it felt
to run for my life
each time the missile alarms sounded
how I felt
knowing I might die at any moment
I remember how it felt
to be so poor
to feel so starving
I remember how it felt
to look my pain in my eyes
and wish it away
I remember how it felt
to feel the pain in my body
of where they all hurt me
of where my brokeness lied
I remember how it felt to be used
abused
beaten
kicked out
abandoned
disrespected
I remember
so I vow to love myself
to hug myself in my darkness in my pain
I remember
I am not shocked by pain
its something i understand deeply
for death is like pain
and pain is like death
one can die while they are alive
I have had so many times in my life
where I don't know how I survived
now I am choosing life
in a place reeked with death
I am choosing more presence
I am choosing to follow my goals
to live my life
the way I want to
I am working on choosing my bravery.