It’s late and I want to be charming
and say that I’m still up because I’m
thinking of you, but I’m not

it’s just my brain chemistry has
been so off lately that if I let my
mind focus on emotion for even
a second, I lose control

so I’ve been pushing you to the
back of my mind because you
bring out the most life in me,

too much life.

so I’ll be up all night pretending
I’m not a hopeless romantic, smoking
cigarettes out of this 8th floor hotel window,
wondering how much I’d feel if I let myself fall.

- S.G.