It never melted for starters
the Magic Icicle could talk
it had humors jealousies aversions
deep rending tides of love
and week long fits of giggling
It had been crafted by Father Frost
The Emperor of the North
his breath could wreck a train
and send a picnic scattering
Billy never met the Frost King
who he heard was a ballroom dancer
fast on his feet tipita tapita
the dance finals were approaching
it was Billy's job to suss the opposition
his reports gave the Emperor
a step up on the competition
which was stiff as beaten egg whites
there were the castrati pair
Harley and Davidson
who were fast and supple
and could ignite a rattling fart
10 feet from the judges' candle
and rocket blurringly past them
like the jaguar under a jungle moon
there was Nip and Tuck
Edwardians from the pages of Lord Knackwit
they could anticipate every dip and swirl
and often stood quite still
then there were the Rubber Twins
Bobby Rubber and Loquatia Rubber
gliding ever gliding and then rebounding
in a ricochet ballet of Newtonian elasticity
with a certainty that will pirouette right over
your thin skinned inadequacies
undying in their devotion
to big tits and ropes and pulleys
and an elephant in a china shop agenda
while crickets rubbed their lanterns bright
and the night grew big as the Frog of Creation
hopping and hipping you along
on the dance floor of partial eternity
so loosen up and listen up
it's just that we really must
compare categories more often
actually hold them side by side
hold them up to death the little icon
in the corner of my screen
no way I'm going to click on it
it's going to have to click on me
and here we are at another frozen end
please accept your melting icicle statue
the Emperor's Sno Cone of Attention Award
From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon