Deadened
I was terminated, today.
It foreshadowed a phone message of my father's demise.
Penniless on a reservation, I am deadened.
What are aspirations?
I am lulled by my rich heritage to live imprisoned in this space.
Like a broken and discarded snow globe, I feel irrelevant in this place.
The familiar has become the mundane.
Without enough cash to collect my Father's remains,
an estranged childhood friend pays for our one way tickets of escape to a place more barren.
Father, I wonder why you fled to such a desolate land.
What were you seeking? What was your plan?
Flashbacks of childhood dreams unfulfilled flood my mind.
Longing for our ancestors' way of life, realizing but not admitting it will never be ours.
Not belonging to the outside world, we return in my father's beat up truck, unchanged.
I promise to acknowledge my friend,
but we both know we will remain estranged.
Life on a reservation renders you reverently passive,
and without aim.