A friend asked me how I always managed to stay so happy
And my immediate thought was 'they think I'm happy?'
So I start to think how I can be so depressed
Yet appear so happy
While pondering this misconception
My thoughts stumble and stutter to a stop
I seem to have a road block in my mind
urging me to turn around and never look back
So obviously I surge forward and find
A wall that I have built in my head that is clearly labeled
"THINGS TO PRETEND AREN'T HAPPENING: BEWARE"
This strikes my interest even more.
So I step forward....
As soon as I near the wall it starts to rumble and shake
I reach forward and lay a hand on the wall
The stones
start
to
fall
And the sturdy wall
Starts
to
Crumble
and the memories surge forward
A tidal wave of suppressed stress, and pain
Is this what it's like to drown?
How much of my life don't I remember?
How much of those forgotten things can I actually handle?
Is this what it's like to drown?
These memories range from minor to major
And I have no time to sort through them
As they continue to assault me
I can't breathe
Is this what it's like to drown?
I hear a voice say 'hey are you okay? You don't have to answer me.'
I look at my friend who asked such a simple question
and received such a complex response
and manage to gasp out
'This is what it's like to drown'