Sgt. Bedlam of heavy artillery reporting sir Bedlam I want you to pick the runt of the litter and turn him into an agent assassin with the clandestine power of hypnotism yes Generalissimo I am here to obey decked out like a burlesque ***** warlord his Mauser cigar lighter on his belt a curlicue mustache and a pie tin helmet Opal his ***** fiend gun moll squirming in his lap was our banana republic Generalissimo Bedlam weighed the coming abrasions concluded we are our scars and furthermore if adaptation is survival so is parasitism cleared his throat noisily and bowed an exit later that fate laden candle lit night he made a deep study of his globes and charts Europa Asia Oceania the Steppes the Savannah the mud slipped scorched Hills of Malibu a map addict re-educated and re-issued in the Great Culling of the Herd his bell-shaped curve insisted love me server and served a beautiful thing if one enjoyed giant jungle arachnids and leeches and centipedes that crawl up your **** to lay millions of eggs when you sleep where the laws of physics become a tumbling burbling retinal stew geysering steam and sulfur and an occasional alabaster Venus de Milo where was I oh yah yet a thing of beauty was Opal to Bedlam he heard scratching and purring at the door it was she incognito in an iguana skin we must escape this hideous circus of shame she coo coo rooed as her tongue dove into the holy fissure in his brain and he threw caution to the feral hogs forgetting good posture he oozed upon Opal I bet you think you make your own decisions she cloyed and again he tossed caution into a cauldron of grunting mammalian rut for several hours perhaps the entire weekend it's easy to rewire a human you just give them a little epiphany and bingo ownership pretty much forevrr his hypnotic gambit paid off in ducats the Generalissimo slept like a corpse the pet centipedes concluded their labors his ex-kingdom rejoiced at their new liberty and that's anarchy for ya
From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon