I feel called to visit the place
that is haunted by my memories
i feel  so afraid to even  touch it ,
For a few blocks away is the police station
that I visited,
to report you,
after that fateful night
in my own bed,
my own safe haven
turned prison of thoughts and feelings
emotions,  
to face you,
face to face
to tell the police officer ,
how you assaulted me in my own bed
and how you laughed it off and lied through broken teeth
through  self assured smiles,
While all I begged for was an apology,
a promise to never touch another women again
but instead all I got was a brokeness inside
one that felt like shards of my heart were breaking indefinetly
when all I got back was looks of disgust
form the police woman,
who told me that I was messed  up ,
yes I wanted to yell back,
I am messed up because of men like him,
who have broken me
broken me!

See I was never whole
i came into the world broken
so broken,
only now I am trying really trying
gasping from pain,
form open wounds of scabbing pain
to hold myself up still.

Even though my whole life has felt like
mostly death ,
mixed in with some happier fleeting moments
i guess I have never ever wrote about these things
because they are  are so painful to write about,
But I learnt no one can protect me or listen to me
if I don't do that for me!