can't even **** anymore
without kicking up a hurricane
halfway around the Earth
according to reports this has occurred
at a great loss of life and mind
within minutes of the methane
the dominoes began to rumble
and poor Flash who was
merely greeting the morning sun
became history's first flatomaniac
Flash was burly with hair
up and down his back like
a mink in a 5th Avenue perfumery
he had always been a cartoon
playing the 3 color hope card
in a séance with the laboring masses
at the Union of Opposites hiring hall
I was merely giving the citizens
an anatomy lesson your Honor
I should be given a cash stipend
for ennabling public elucidation
fortunately no witness has come forward
his only defense was the tenuous claim
that he saw the ancient god Apollo
leaping out of a moving taxi
the effect was so dramatic
that his legs had to leap too
they haven't stopped since
his testimony was a monstrosity of detail
in conclusion my rebuttal established
several seemingly salient selections
I am a dissector by trade your Worship
and a taxpaying asset to any community
Flash was sentenced with stern admonishment
you will henceforth exercise your libido
within the confines of spherical propriety
to which Flash meekly assented
without the slightest ******* er objection
and somehow strangely unafraid
the Flasher of Costa del Mar
disappeared one star sprinkled night
****** into the belly of an alien craft
over the cattle lip badlands of Montana
they commenced their hideous experiments
as Flash mused without anesthesia
on the incalculable immensity
of the scrapyard Universe
and watched a mobile home run amok
across 9 lanes of traffic

From "Pageant of Naked Mischief" available on Amazon