Thoughts fly around me like an insect swarm
I get dizzy from their speed and voracity
They try to consume me within the storm
What can bring me back to my reality

I'm on a tirade against my own mind
Yet again carrying all the blame
Looking for a reason that I cannot find
To cast off all my shame

Grace and mercy are free gifts that I reject
Surely there are others more deserving
Of peace, kindness and respect
These thoughts are unnerving

I try to close my eyes for much needed rest
All I see on replay are my mistakes
I try to focus on how I've been blessed
While my shattered heart breaks

The tears do not flow
I can not force what will not come
This pain is endless - I know
It has gotten so bad that now I'm numb

I stay silent most days
Pretending nothing's wrong
Lost in an unending maze
Listening to the same old song

It's getting lonely in this cage
But I cannot seem to reach out
All I feel anymore is my rage
That is flooded with my doubt