He was the only man who I knew could gaze on me naked forever
And never stop wanting me.
I bewitched him
And I believed him, believed this;
That I could mesmerise another.
This he gave me,
Belief in my beauty.
The chance to see through his eyes;
Someone amazing,
Someone who shines.

I wish I could tell him how he enriched me
With confidence, pleasure, such moments of joy.
He introduced me to my bodies longings,
For months I could think of nothing but him
A thunderstorm of lust from dawn 'til dusk.
I wouldn't change it,
I wouldn't go back,
Not even now,
He gave me
Something I had never had,
May never have again.

In time I may realise
That he has given me other things;
The strength to forgive myself,
The tendency to be less judgemental of others,
The ability to embrace contentment, and calm.
I don't have those things yet,
It is all too raw
And I'm still dazed, and disbelieving,
Self-forgiveness is a long way down the line, but...
Everything teaches us something,
I am willing to learn.