the paparazzi swarmed all over Einstein
after he said make sure where the rope is tied
before you kick over the chair
he wrote his own scripts now
Further Adventures in Archaeo-Astronomy
tonight the constellation Vertigo
a place of no equilibrium
a hell of uterine contractions
even though his head was elfin
a little bone crushing ceremony
and bingo you are out on bail
I didn't mean to hurt anyone went the 911 call
they finally brought him down with magnets
the dilemma meters were going purple
only minutes away from a fatal lap dance
that could blacken the portals of infinity
hauled before the cosmic court of opinion
sentenced to prompt and urgent expungement
they failed to contend with the absurdity
of Al's relativistic social barometer
smuggled in by a derelict ex-stockbroker
his obsidian blade plunged like a fang
into the bailiff's waiting eyes
and the jury of inflatable *** dolls
made obnoxious leaking air sounds
until all that was left was a talking skull
divulging Al's General Theory of Anathema
flip the law of averages on its back
and your troops are in the citadel
paradise being a system of payoffs
on the origin side of the lens
yes the light is tricky in there
images fall feebly on the big screen
Al's life was now a gravitational anomaly
no plot no narrative no story
he was ready to sack a city
his Igor hissed let's asteroid the planet
but the mouse pad Ouija opened a channel
to the vortex of utter charm
and he stamped and splashed singing
through the seven sewers of humiliation
wearing his we're going to hell pants
with only a mother's love for protection
and managed to lose all his pencils
somewhere between hand and ledger
being that his hands were missing fingers
almost all of them actually
lost in a departmental budget cut
allegorically left him all thumbs
unleashing a pandemonium of vague redemption
it was a close shave but Earth was saved