just close my eyes
for another day
help me sleep my life away
so i dont have to face my pain
anymore
the sad pained face
the intense pained eyes
the longing to return
to my grandmother who is dead
it hurts so much
i wish I didn't feel so sucidal
I wish I felt happier
I wish I had friends who truly saw me
I wish I had a family and people who truly love me
and a partner who I can love
But alas all I have is myself
and as I sit here truly feeling my true feelings
for the first time in so long
It feels so overwhelming
but I feel like I'm healing
I still have hope
for a better life
its the only thing keeping me alive sometimes.