I seem to look for you
In all places I go
Sometimes I cling
To the memory of your
flesh
Your beating heart and gentle hands

But what is there to cling to now?
Its all just
Dust dust dust

So the walls in my home
Are dust
The mantelsills and coffee cups
Are all just
Dust dust dust
And I wait for you in that old familiar chair
Covered in
dust dust dust
For these days it is the only thing
I know how to cling to
And I want to hold onto something
But even then
A gust of wind easily blows through
these fragile walls
And scatters
The dust dust dust

I look for you
Everywhere I go
On my wedding day, my graduation, even in my lonely walks
Looking
For you
Looking for
dust dust dust

Particles of stardust
Blowing in the wind



I go to peculiar places to see if I can find you
Like hospitals
But all I see is the clinging
That familiar feeling
That itches deep in my belly
The clawing kind of sorrow

As if we could hold onto a piece of mortal flesh forever
As if life was eternal
And I do believe it is eternal
But it's all just eternal
dust dust dust

So I cling to dust instead
of the impermanence of
flesh and bones
But its hard when I remember
How beautiful a hug can be
Just how beautiful a hug can be
And how I long for my heart to touch yours again
How I long to be met by you
Not this dust
The emptiness
Of the night greeting me again

I see you in my dreams often
I wake up crying
With my remembering
I still reach out
Only to find the dust dust dust

I try and stay in old homes where there is more dust
Where there are stories etched into the floors and walls
I cling to your dust
I keep it close to my heart
I gather it in my basket of hopes and prayers just as I gather the seeds for my garden

But sometimes there are these empty mornings like today
When I wake up alone
And there is no dust
In this home
And I have nothing to cling to
Just sprawled out naked
Before the sea of life

So I went to watch the sunrise
Which still hadn't dawned
And I reached out to the sky
Because I miss you
Like an aching in my soul
It's like I swallowed chards of glass
When i realize you aren't here



I never looked forward to dying
But here I am
And who knows if there is heaven
Or if I'll be reborn
And even then
You may not be with me
Maybe I'll wake up one day and it will all just be
dust dust dust
Whispered like a cute joke from the creator
That I need to wrap myself around for a while to understand

There is a gift in creators whisper
The dust that spirit blows every which way
And so I hold my hand out to the sunrise
Feeling the dawning warmth glisten and the birds echoe

And I try not to cling this time
Though I ache to hold something
Instead I try to know
That everywhere I go
And every sparkle and glimmer I see
Is this
dust dust dust
From every dancing tree and blooming rose bush
Every twinkle in an eye
And a heart bursting open
There is
Dust dust dust

I felt you
All around me this morning
So I let go
Of the dust to which I cling
Only to find  more
Dust dust dust
Like a reminder
That you
Are everywhere and in everything
Just as we all are never that far away.