I like my life
I love to watch the sun as it shines over the mountains
I love the smell of the lilacs as spring blooms into the world
I love the rain as it falls on my cheeks
And wakes me up into reality
i love holding your hand

I love holding your hand


This is what i tell myself
When i forget
When i forget who i am
When i forget what i care about
Because the thoughts take over my mind

When the thoughts creep in
I forget who i am
I forget what i care about
Because all that consumes me
Are these words in my mind

These monsters that spin lies
Shout into my ears
And i cannot
I cannot remember why
i deserve to be here

So i cry
And i remember the sunlight over the mountains
And i remember the smell of the lilacs in the spring
And i try to remember what it feels like when i sing

Because sometimes i cant remember
all i remember is that dont deserve anything
Sometimes these words in my mind are all that i hear
all that i can feel inside of me

And its not me
Its NOT me
i try to push them away
Far away from my mind

And sometimes i can
And sometimes i cant

they tell me to let it all disappear
To run away
To get away from this world I’ve created
From the things that i need to do that i never can
From the things that i know i dont deserve
From the joy and the happiness
That Isn’t mine to keep

And i remember the sunlight over the mountains
And i remember the smell of the lilacs in the spring
And i soothe my shaking hands with the thought of holding yours in mine

And i can stand

And take another step until tomorrow
Until tomorrow

- May 2023