My heart hurts and hurts and hurts
It hurts when I don’t distract it with media, or stuff it away to do work
It hurts with a low ache, a mourning
Hasn’t it always hurt?
Even when we were together, I hurt
What’s wrong with me?
Everything feels somehow wrong
An undercurrent of dread
Nausea
I want to throw up, but there’s no bile
It’s the thought of you I want to push away
Reject
Expel from my dreams and my memories
Why did you not love me?
Why did I love you?
Why did we do all this?
It’s disgusting
It’s wrong
The kind of thing that someone’d wrinkle their nose to
It’s just boy problems
Stupid silly
But all’s fair in love and war, I remember