Spend hours upon hours
(Upon hours)
Analyzing space
Or lack of time
Brushing knots out of my thoughts
Wondering why the shower head
Can never keep heat
Why I refuse to let myself sleep
Like I deserve to ache
Sit idle in my consciousness
Mistake cats and long driveways
For omens

Speak my own language
Like yours but
Complicated
Feeling inconsistent as usual
Sometimes my memories
Can’t remember if they were dreams
Can’t tell if this is
Or what is one
Not much to do
But to avoid what must be done
Life is like this
Except less romantic

Is it my mind that
Deceives itself like this

But isn’t that sickness

A series of realizations
Usually in the morning
Which tend to be more like evenings
But I long to watch the sun rise
Just to do it all over again

Learned that dawn doesn’t always look the same
And the moon
It sometimes calls my name
It’s me who’s small
Despite the stars
Eventually I’ll sleep again