The snails look down on slugs
As vagabonds and vagrants
They shun them in the garden sheds
Get aggressive on the pavements

The slugs despise the landed gentry
Escargot **** yourselves they cry
But while they’re brabbling and bickering
Sparrows circle in the sky

The slugs slide in vain towards the hedge
And **** the snails to hell
But the snails no longer hear them
Safe inside a silent shell