im falling down the rabbit hole
im peeling myself off like a smushed bug on a wall, or shoe
im staring empty and shallow eyed into the void that is my life
a ghost, observing it all from the outside,
I look at myself and don't recognize her
my friends are worried
my husband is mad
I want to tell them it's alright. "It's me, i'm still here".

But i'm not
I'm not quite sure where "here" is anymore