Mar 2023
I told myself I would never fall in love again.
I hadn’t gotten over the times love had shown me shaky hands so going back into the “playing field” didn’t make sense.
The first day we met I warned myself about you.
The last thing I wanted was another human making 100 promises and not keeping any of them.
And since I could never trust words I shut my ears to the arrows you shot.
But while I guarded for words your smile and touch did the ***** work.
It was the seed that fell on the soil of my soul.
Your smile snuck in while I wasn’t watching and rendered me defenseless and stuck itself so firmly to my existence.
I haven’t let myself get to this point in a while but I must confess one glimpse of your smile and I find myself ready to risk it all again.
Ive doubted almost everything in my life.
But you; and us.. this has gone past the point I can convince myself otherwise.
Even if I wanted to.
Even if I tried.
I catch myself constantly smiling sheepishly at the videos of newly weds on my instagram feed.
In my minds eye Ive seen you in one of those tuxedos,
the ones with cufflinks,
a few inches away 10 minutes after the guests have gone home and we get to begin life with each other.
See,
I knew I was completely finished when I started thinking about my vows.
Thinking of all the many reasons I have to love you.
And even with out you being there,
with out the timing being right or the music playing,
the joy that erupted in my soul was something I’ve never experienced before.
So if this gets through to you,
I need you to know;
there is no one on Gods green earth id rather do life with,
go through hell and back with.
It will always be you.
Each morning I wake up with a pull on my heart and a prayer on my lips.
I ask God to teach me how to love you fiercely enough that you know I would die for you.
While it seems like an audacious thing to say I realized,
how could I love you any less than that?
How can I look you in the eyes and call it love if it doesn’t stir your soul and grant peace to your heart.
How can you trust my loves authenticity if you do not know its willing to give all for you?
How is it love if it doesn’t drive away all the fears you’ve harbored all these years?
It's my prayer and greatest desire to give you such pure and complete love.
The kind only God can give.
I was made for loving you.
I may have a bit to learn and put into practice but God help me,
Im going to love you so genuinely that the angels will be delighted in taking turns to witness our story.
I will love you so fervently that the Lord will be tempted to hang out love story on the shining walls of heavens gallery.
So put on your seatbelt.
Matter of fact don’t…
Im going to love you just right.
I hadn’t gotten over the times love had shown me shaky hands so going back into the “playing field” didn’t make sense.
The first day we met I warned myself about you.
The last thing I wanted was another human making 100 promises and not keeping any of them.
And since I could never trust words I shut my ears to the arrows you shot.
But while I guarded for words your smile and touch did the ***** work.
It was the seed that fell on the soil of my soul.
Your smile snuck in while I wasn’t watching and rendered me defenseless and stuck itself so firmly to my existence.
I haven’t let myself get to this point in a while but I must confess one glimpse of your smile and I find myself ready to risk it all again.
Ive doubted almost everything in my life.
But you; and us.. this has gone past the point I can convince myself otherwise.
Even if I wanted to.
Even if I tried.
I catch myself constantly smiling sheepishly at the videos of newly weds on my instagram feed.
In my minds eye Ive seen you in one of those tuxedos,
the ones with cufflinks,
a few inches away 10 minutes after the guests have gone home and we get to begin life with each other.
See,
I knew I was completely finished when I started thinking about my vows.
Thinking of all the many reasons I have to love you.
And even with out you being there,
with out the timing being right or the music playing,
the joy that erupted in my soul was something I’ve never experienced before.
So if this gets through to you,
I need you to know;
there is no one on Gods green earth id rather do life with,
go through hell and back with.
It will always be you.
Each morning I wake up with a pull on my heart and a prayer on my lips.
I ask God to teach me how to love you fiercely enough that you know I would die for you.
While it seems like an audacious thing to say I realized,
how could I love you any less than that?
How can I look you in the eyes and call it love if it doesn’t stir your soul and grant peace to your heart.
How can you trust my loves authenticity if you do not know its willing to give all for you?
How is it love if it doesn’t drive away all the fears you’ve harbored all these years?
It's my prayer and greatest desire to give you such pure and complete love.
The kind only God can give.
I was made for loving you.
I may have a bit to learn and put into practice but God help me,
Im going to love you so genuinely that the angels will be delighted in taking turns to witness our story.
I will love you so fervently that the Lord will be tempted to hang out love story on the shining walls of heavens gallery.
So put on your seatbelt.
Matter of fact don’t…
Im going to love you just right.
