The only time
I feel like
Everything is going to be alright
Is when there's a fresh bottle
Of gin
In the fridge
Otherwise
It's downhill
I'm depressed
I'm miserable

The only time
I feel alive
Is when my glass is full
Half tonic
Half gin
Ice
Slice of lemon if I'm feeling adventurous
Otherwise
I'm dead inside
I feel almost nothing outside of sorrow

The only time
I can fall asleep
Is when my belly is filled with gin and tonic
I experience vivid dreams
I'm happy
My spirits visit me
Otherwise
The sun comes up to my eyes wide open
Listening to my rapid heartbeat
Thinking "I have work in two hours"

The only time I feel inspired
Is with a cold one in one hand
A pen in the other hand
Otherwise
I lack motivation
I lack any will to live
I dwell in negative energy
I have no hope for the future
Nothing flows
My thoughts are a scattered mess

Although I might die
Either I die from over indulgence
Or I die from sadness
Either way
I am dead
May the good Lord forgive me
For I know not what else to do
For I am intoxicated
As I type this
For sobriety feels like a prison to my pain

There must be a better way