In the midst of
Missing you

I have been consumed
With your last months

The demons that had taken over
Tend to overshadow the better memories

Which is terrible
That wasn't you.

But that was the worst
And most recent

But today, I found bukowski
And your notes

And our pictures
"Master plan"

And I wanted to cry.
But also laugh

I hate how those few moments
Have come to define you

Even though they don't
Even though that wasn't who you were

Remembering the good
Is
Overshadowed

By your suicide.

And I hate it
And I love you

And one day may be
I can remember just the good

With out flashbacks
From the few months of your life that you weren't you

I pray for
That day


P.s.  thank you for the note