sometimes i lie awake and think about
the way the pads of your fingertips
once felt against the softness of my skin
the way your tongue brushed my lips
and i once used to crave every touch
however, when i recall those nights
i am left feeling empty and numb
they no longer offer me an escape
they no longer offer an indulgent fantasy
i sit and think and no longer feel a thing
i was once so afraid to fall out of love with you
but i no longer feel afraid
i feel no pain or longing for what once was
what once was, simply happened
and i realize how much i hung on
to avoid feeling this emptiness you've left behind
however, all i am left thinking is
i have so much room now
to fill with things that make me happy
to fill with self-love and kindness
to fill with gratitude and peace
so much room without you
sometimes i lie awake and think about
how i wish i fell out of love with you sooner