(it’s awful) to not be loved by you, (i do),
to feel i never will, mainly because i have a weird laugh,
and know too much about the wrong things, and too little
about the right things (things they like). because i have too many
opinions and i don’t like to be wrong about them (i am).
now i’m either a push over or being pushed,
and you find every button in me amusing.
i don’t find this funny at all, does he? (do you?)
you think i am unfeeling, but you never say how you feel -
i flood out the basement of my heart for what’s less of us. (not much).
you push away to an island of self hate and sabotage (avoidance),
ignore the problems and throw anchors down at “bad timing”,
you find more reasons to hate me, because it’s easier (it’s not.)
i think i am a deeply flawed good person, you think i hate you,
against my better judgement, i always learn
to love them more, and where’s the u in animosity?
that has always been my way, (unlike you), i believe i can change,
so i learn to love me more too, tell myself i need more (it’s true.)
(it’s awful) to love someone you don’t want. (i do).