Baby Trees

Once upon a time there was baby trees

and one came to me

and said hes pleased

he shook my hand

and i took his leaf

I hid it and told him i gave it to Kieth

Kieth said "i have not such"

now the tree didn't believe me too much

so i told him "man you need to lighten up,

and take a drink right out of this cup."

he did just that then asked the pup

"have you seen my hand?"

dog said "thats not all you lost man."

so the tree thought "why do i give a ****

I'm going back to Amsterdam"

so i went with the tree and we went back

sat on his porch and smoked a fat sack

then we went down to a local crab shack

but as i was eating one tried to attack

so we left and wondered on down

the block where we were and i couldn't frown

because that tree right now is one hell of a clown

because he brought up the fact thats hes a talking baby tree

and as i began to see

it became funny to me

so funny i laughed until i needed to ***

i stopped and asked someone where the facilities were

they said "don't ask me, ask the tree sir"

so i busted up for a second time

then thought if hes real then to laugh wouldn't be kind

but three just stood there not seeming to mind

so i thought "maybe i should start on home"

i told the tree i was leaving tonight on a plane alone

he said "wait! no don't leave me be!

i mean look at me i'm a talking baby tree!"

so i thought not to hard and not too long

and then said "sure whats the worst that could go wrong?"

little did i know that he was strapped with a bomb

i told him not to use it and he said real calm,

"I'll do what i want you're not my mom."

i thought oh man its that kind of kid

who doesn't give a **** about what he does or did

and if hes that kind of child

his parents probably let him run rampid and wild

then i snapped out of it and said "what am i doing?

its a ******* talking baby tree!"

and since it doesn't have hands it only has leaves

i took it away the bomb that thing

but then i was accused of all the threating

so when i got home i thought **** it,

that ******* baby tree was raised in a bucket

so i found a place where i could then chuck it

it hit the water and made a big splash

i threw it in the lake where people skatter ash

then i went back to Amsterdam to steal that tree's stash

i smoked it all and then took all his cash

so happily ever after i live in peace

without that baby tree since now its deceased

unless it could swim then that would be beast.

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