I'm jealous
because you did what I couldn't
do
But wanted to
for so long

And executed
with such
beauty
and grace
right down to the place
perfect

But you can't see
the heaving
heavy
hearts
of the people you left behind
and the weak ribcages
struggling for air
and an answer to
why
and
how couldn't I have known?

I wish I was gone too

Why didn't I take the plunge?
Regret fills me.
Two tickets to city cinema
waiting
Why didn't I talk to you?
When I had the chance.
I was a coward,
scared of rejection
and now I can never know
if affections were returned

I can hear you in my head
still
Minolta
Pentax K1000
Lenses
Engineering
And I wonder why you loved photography so much.
Was it the pursuit of perfection?
Was that your heaven?