The mainstay ......
Every day ...
sell my dreams .
meditate in my sleep .
Over analyse ....,
Half liked.
In with apprehensive ease
My stay???.. .... Brief ....
Usually
Hear griefs ,
Fill the harpoon with  burdens
Quietly take my leave......
Knowing half the halfwits
Won't remember these emergencies gifted me.....
Unorthodox ......
Keeper of my word .....
To a fault
Loner ,
sojourn outside the box,
Network ...
My life is like a spiders web ..
Rome in the gloaming.....
At every connection
Give twice as receive.......
Understander of deep secretive things .........
Love everyone  .....
For underneath all the flex
And masquerade  .....
I see the inner hidden trauma
That shatters the innocent
They used to be.......
Mediator .......
Take the stripes    
The drama calmer   .....
Stripping my abilities....
Reprobate overload ....
Mistaking my love for dumb..
Empathy becoming numb
Increasing difficulties.
In the shade of this
Burgeoning rage
Splintering psyche..
Buffeting   ..... Snide smirks
Remarks these back bitters ...
Twist and reverse my good works.........
What's worse ........
Depravity.......
This habitat of philanthropy
Giving my life hoping to be
The change in this world
I want to see .
Never ..
Never occurred to me
Un-understander-er-er
Of the power of
Perversity......
Cabin fever ...... Feeling
.............
Feelings I dont recognize...
Wounded ........ Need to
Be out of this cage.......
They put me in .......
Their words like sharp sticks...
Sneering taking pleasure ...
Poking and stoning.....
Impossible to defend against a negative.......
People wanna believe bad
Guilty until proven guilty......
Probably ......
Don't want to see good   ......
This would let the world see how wrong they have come to be
Desire to just be me .....
Lost it's appeal .....
Dark things
Cauldron of maddening calamity
Eyes reddening    .....
Intensity of insanity  ...
Flames of incongruity
Licking me inappropriately.
Brain itching,
Paradigm glitch .....
Tied died in ratsbane .....
******* away my time .....
Hearing myself hissing ....
bellicose animosity....
With verbose velocity,  
10 fold recompense the pain inflicted upon me .....
Stupidity.......
When they are nice to me ....
That magically dissipates ......
Cloaking the fact that
Their only nice when they use me......
Un amusing........
Kinda.....
Dont mind me .....
Sick of people ...
Just venting...
Wondering if im the only one....