How is this possible
To fall back to where I've escaped
I've spent countless hours
Finding worth, purpose
Healing from scars that
Left permanent markings
I was finally okay, content of the
Person staring back in the mirror
How is this possible
Is what I thought when you first
Walked into my life
Not sure if I was ready but
I was willing to start over
I gave you everything I had
Finding myself desperate
To want this to work
Ignoring all possible judgements
For who am I to adjudicate
But now I see
You preyed on my kindness and goodwill
Every downfall, trauma, and
Disappointments projected towards me
My pure mind blocked any discernment
And now I remain with hurt and anger
While you move on to new
Adventure and opportunities
Like today moving on to tomorrow
How is this possible
For me to be painted as the black hat
Slowly dragging my name through
The mud never to be rinsed
In the eyes and ears of those
I showed the opposite to
I elevated for you, for us
All to be thrown away and
Be picked up on Monday morning
No remorse, no shame or repentance
Just self-praise, propelling yourself
To the next lost soul
While I sit here confused
Wishing I never listened to your
Companions to begin with
Wishing I never became vulnerable
Wishing I never displayed my love
For you didn't deserve it
But it's stolen now, never to be
Returned
How is this possible
To have this feeling of gullibility
To have this feeling of foolishness
To have this feeling of insanity
Alone once again only to put
Forth more countless hours
Creating new scars and
adding them to the collection
How is this possible
To still love you
When every bone of my existence
Tells me not to
I understand now when they say
Love is blind
I'll do you one better
Love is pain and pain is love
I've ran out of possibilities