Neglected
Abandoned
Used
Unamused

Abused
Refused
Recoil
Obtuse

Toil
Recluse

Excuse
After
Excuse

After
Blame
And
Reframed

Misuse
Of my fruits

The truth is plain to see
It’s you, not  me

I expected more
Than to feel like a cheap *****
To be thrown to the floor
Like a rag - nothing more
I’ve been here before
Not much left to explore
Just feelings that I abhor
Feeling low and unadorned
I often feel shame,
I often feel scorned
I told myself I’d stop this
Yet, here I am forlorn
Not to toot my own horn,
But I know I deserve more
After what I have seen here
There’s no reason to Implore

A burning and a yearning
I’ll never collect my earnings
The passion isn’t here
And this fills me with fear
What is coming next,
Will I always be so vexed?
Crying to myself
while they put me on a shelf
Falling to my knees because I’m so eager to please
This is what they see
An opportunity to seize
When I ask for what I want,
nothing more than a sneeze
It’s my fault you won’t love me,
the way that I request
It’s certainly not you,
you’re doing you’re best
Chalk it up to I’m “too loud”
because you can’t find the words- too proud-
If you ask me, it’s a cosmic joke
You came here only to provoke
I suppose it’s just a lesson learned
Embarrassed that I can’t discern  
I learned this lesson once before,
But somehow I’ve forgotten
I’m not sure where to go from here
But I hope it’s where I’ve NOT been.
History repeats in cycles
I have clouded vision
I need to shake you off of me
and get back to my mission
I look for love in all of the wrong places
And become fond of people and their faces
But when they show me the facts
I need to take a few steps back
Try hard not to - too- 2 react
But I’m full of heat and it’s discipline I lack
Your demeanor begs that I cut you slack
When I feel I am being attacked
I don’t know how to remedy this
So I bite back tears as I clench my fists
To you, only your own trauma exists
So I should be more careful when taking these risks