i hope you are happy now that
you are gone and i must be happy too
can one still be happy after
being beaten to a breaking point?
you left and i lifted
myself off the ground
remember when you said you'd be there for me?
as if anyone could find solace in
that underdeveloped plastic heart
set on auto-pilot; a trap
you used to bribe me into
years of self-destruction
as if i could find friendship in
your green jealous eyes or that finger
with which you ever so diligently
shot at me
along with the words and accusations
i never needed you
i never needed you
or your messed up views
of what i owed you
for being my friend
i never needed you
or your ready backhand
or the Stockholm syndrome
broken soul or beaten self-worth
or the fucking thoughts that went through
my head on a daily basis
and as if i wanted you back
NO
go.
leave me alone
like you left me to sob
on your concrete steps
so many times before
like you left me alone in
my times of need
as i held those pills in a shaking
hand and led them to a shaking
stomach
no.
just leave.
i owe you what you gave me
nothing.
you gave me nothing
yet you whittled away my happiness
for years
until nothing was left but
a shelled out form
that you set aflame
to make sure i could never come back
but i rose from the ashes and you
you
you will never destroy me again.