I dont recall, the exact tones of your voice
or the way you walked, words that fell
from your crooked smile

but i remember...

running to you as a child
anticipating the warmth of
your so frequently absent embrace
in the times you would decide
i was worth a day in your life

i don't recall
your voice or your fingers
sliding down fretboards
conjuring sweet melodies
out of thin air

but i remember...

the day she told me
you were gone, forever
not her exact words, but i still know
how it felt, the first time my heart
ruptured
despite its protective
bony casing

i remember the sky
purple and bruised
threatening to overflow
i recall thinking, it must be mourning you too
only seven years old, but by then even i knew

there was no life to be found within that casket
that you'd wasted away
for one last fix, and you'd had it
which was always of paramount
importance
clearly.

i dont remember the days that followed
but i do recall
how it made me flinch
your cold dead skin against my palm
embalmed and blue
despite these things, i kissed you

goodbye
one last time

no more melodies, no more embraces
only the one sided feel of my lips
pressed against your sullen face
with no luster left in your eyes
no, now more akin with black holes
in the sky

a single rose falls from six feet above
my final offering
as dirt engulfs, snuffs out the flame
i forgive you, daddy.