Nov 2022
Feelings left unresolved,
How is it that humans evolve?
Yet I stagnate unfulfilled?
Perhaps, because I treat God like a happy meal?
Numb the pain, take another pill.
Shut the **** up, I know the drill.
Losing myself to the venom, becoming ill.
Eyes grow berserk, the minds become a rind of a lemon shell.
Soured my soul, how can I heal?
When my oppressors are in jail,
Got no one else to blame,
I’m the one keeping myself in hell.
Oh joy, got to swallow another bitter pill.
Insanity plagues my actions like a hamster wheel.
Watching as humans adapt to a reality,
That I can never feel.
How can I expect a holy father to answer prayers,
If I’m struggling with the idea that he’s not even real?
Perhaps, because I don’t know a father that is holy?
Abandoned, yet always yearning to be worthy.
Should I blame my father,
Or the system that did my people *****?
That ironically came in the name of the almighty.
Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.
Desires lost due to self medication.
Expired hope, feelings numb to the condemnation.
Hard to be a free man with priors,
Even if you dress nice and are clean shaven.
Past regrets and actions have found their equation.
Evicted convict chained since the day they took formation.
Hard to ace the test with Ace’s, let alone get a well financed and funded education.
Knowledge hindered by trauma passed down from generation to generation.
But instead of evaluation and validation,
One is meet with subjugation and marginalization.
Are you starting to see the correlations?
Can’t adapt or evolve, because of unchanged racist policies, acts, and legislations.
With our history undermined by ignorant Caucasians.
Should I blame myself?
Or the ones that caused this devastation?
That came with promises of salvation.
Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.
Fangs of malice,
Dig into the imbalance.
Hard to give up the taste from the chalice.
Hard to give up living in a palace.
Money gained from silence.
Blood is thicker than water,
But fill up what the mind is.
Big headed ego, that’s where the pride is.
Can’t ever please your highness.
Cant escape the actions that were heinous.
Even if you pour the wine down your esophagus.
Or snort up coke like snuffleupagus.
Hard to be genuine, when you where the public is.
Wear a mask, fake a smile, save your images.
Donating money to the same kids,
That work in slave workplaces.
Where they work to keep up your appearances.
Everyone’s a hypocrite, live with it!
How is it that humans evolve?
Yet I stagnate unfulfilled?
Perhaps, because I treat God like a happy meal?
Numb the pain, take another pill.
Shut the **** up, I know the drill.
Losing myself to the venom, becoming ill.
Eyes grow berserk, the minds become a rind of a lemon shell.
Soured my soul, how can I heal?
When my oppressors are in jail,
Got no one else to blame,
I’m the one keeping myself in hell.
Oh joy, got to swallow another bitter pill.
Insanity plagues my actions like a hamster wheel.
Watching as humans adapt to a reality,
That I can never feel.
How can I expect a holy father to answer prayers,
If I’m struggling with the idea that he’s not even real?
Perhaps, because I don’t know a father that is holy?
Abandoned, yet always yearning to be worthy.
Should I blame my father,
Or the system that did my people *****?
That ironically came in the name of the almighty.
Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.
Desires lost due to self medication.
Expired hope, feelings numb to the condemnation.
Hard to be a free man with priors,
Even if you dress nice and are clean shaven.
Past regrets and actions have found their equation.
Evicted convict chained since the day they took formation.
Hard to ace the test with Ace’s, let alone get a well financed and funded education.
Knowledge hindered by trauma passed down from generation to generation.
But instead of evaluation and validation,
One is meet with subjugation and marginalization.
Are you starting to see the correlations?
Can’t adapt or evolve, because of unchanged racist policies, acts, and legislations.
With our history undermined by ignorant Caucasians.
Should I blame myself?
Or the ones that caused this devastation?
That came with promises of salvation.
Suffering in silence.
Enduring through resilience.
Everyday I battle the negative self-talk,
That tries to infect me like a virus.
Does adversity define us?
Because although I’m surviving,
I wouldn’t refer to myself as the finest, nor the fittest.
Fangs of malice,
Dig into the imbalance.
Hard to give up the taste from the chalice.
Hard to give up living in a palace.
Money gained from silence.
Blood is thicker than water,
But fill up what the mind is.
Big headed ego, that’s where the pride is.
Can’t ever please your highness.
Cant escape the actions that were heinous.
Even if you pour the wine down your esophagus.
Or snort up coke like snuffleupagus.
Hard to be genuine, when you where the public is.
Wear a mask, fake a smile, save your images.
Donating money to the same kids,
That work in slave workplaces.
Where they work to keep up your appearances.
Everyone’s a hypocrite, live with it!
