“healthy”
the meaning always stayed
toned bodies and goals to achieve
but what is the meaning of “healthy”?
what can i possibly achieve
when my hair goes brittle
fingers going blue
when the smallest size can’t even fit
i never knew what “healthy” meant
all i knew was obsession
all i knew was a crumbling body
all i knew was isolation
just a self-destructive mindset
it’s been a decade of yearning
yearning for this to end me
and i could leave them behind me
“healthy”
the word still feels lost to me
winds of time continue on
i no longer feel the cold in my bones
no longer cry at the sight of a meal
i’m not happy with myself
i’m not happy with being “healthy”  
but if those i love can feel happy
those i love can still hold me as i stay here
then perhaps “healthy”
is something i have to live with