It just so happens that my Shrek toothpaste somehow
went splat on the floor, covered in ants
I don’t know how
to clean a bathroom, properly
and now mother knocks
asking if I’ve seen her foot cream and will I be done
in there soon
and I say go change out of your work shirt
Mythology week awards require at least a toga
“Rome outfits weren’t built in a day,” she bubbles.

Last August I cleaned the toilet I think
inhaling unhealthy degrees of artificial orange scrub.
One of my favorites,
but not as good as coca-cola
which I was forbidden from trying until I was 16.
I hear: “Constantinople will be Istanbul by the time you’re out
of there” and she may be right