They tell me they care. They have the time, love, and a emotional support for them to be there. I'm not prepared. I'm numb and I don't belong anywhere. Her love haunts me, I wish I can talk to her even in her after life. But she's supposed to be at peace. I wish I can join her but suicide is just not me. I cry, I hurt, and I'm ******* lonely. I wish she can hold me. The amount of time we spent on the phone. Hand written letters from home. Now I can't cope with out feeling alone. Darling will you give me a sign? Or some sort of message? I told you I was home safe, but I didn't know my home was broken into. Hard to believe I lost all of you. Hey sweetheart, just remember in my heart, our home..... my porch light will always be on for you. Come home safe I love you