{this is what life ought to look like, you come back from an 8 hour shift... you enter the brothel, eager to ****, so... you ****... i like *******... today we tried having a 69er position, i don't know whether i was readying myself to puke smelling her unwashed **** and ******* or whether i was more willing to slobber on the event (not happening) some more... because i just needed all those **** juices covering my beard while she performed X and i performed Y and Z was some makeshift Ying-Yang of poetic algebra... but this is what life ought to look like... i might have worked a shift of 7 hours... but... i still want to ****: i'd rather... either ****... sit before: not beside... a fireplace... or sit beside an aquarium... JANUSZ... oh, i remember that uncle of mine... he used to love his aquariums and his fishes... we also loved collecting beer cans... pseudo-kleptomaniacs in the extreme, i.e. men... hoarders of ******* and time... but this is what life should feel like... my god, i have so much **** juice and **** frivolity on my beard i think i'm going to have to choose a stronger scented cologne...}

well, i did say i was going to mentally break this girl
14 years my junior... i said i would and i willed it so...
i'm just too fond of Mikaela... this plump beached whale...
i like big girls... i like cushions and duvets too!
i like snuggling cats...
oh sure... i had my weaknesses...
******* hard off... ******* hard off...
each time i was having a hard off
i dived in and slobbered on her ****:
again...
bread?! for body?
oh no... no one is getting my body...
back in the times of Dickensian zenith
oysters were the food of paupers...
you're getting an oysters' worth of ****!
as for blood? no... no blood!
cider... i.e. fizzy ****... that's my combination...

oysters for the body
and cider for the blood...
i'm done with this Vampire, *******!
time to turn things ugly...

oh, but i did break this pretty, tender, fleeting of a "thing"...
as i was walking out from the brothel:
of course i noticed she made an effort
to dishevel her hair and put on extra crimson lip-stick...
i'm not dead yet...
      i notice "things"...
                            i guess the trick of wearing my informal
attire proved a solidifying point...
the practice of washing myself before *******
and after: that too...

as i was walking out the madam said to her:
get his attention... she pointed a finger at me...
then waved it is a translation of:
i won't forgive you...
so i replied, with a wavering finger:
oh i know... next time... next time i'll be asking you!
how i managed to figure out the dynamics
of a brothel i will never know...
half an hour is plenty...
an hour is stretching it...

i guess in between the changes of rhythm
of pumping this plump beauty...
i need to smoke some hash and ******* to sleep...
oh... right... Diwali...
meditation in continuum: that's Shiva...
meditation in situ: that's Vishnu...
i was always more prone to admire Shiva than Vishnu...
why? Shiva loved to dance...
me? i too love to dance
and i love to imitate a drum-kit!

Vishnu is a monogamist... while Shiva is a polygamist...
i can't just love one woman...
i wasted my youth thinking it was worthwhile
trying to focus one's love efforts on a single woman...
for ****'s sake: you need about 10 "on the side"...
and that's not enough...
you need more!
currently? i have about 20... which one's i'll ****
and which ones i won't doesn't bother me...
which interest me intellectually... oh yeah:
that old chestnut...

as many as are necessary...
reality is sometimes rigid: sometimes mandible...
sometimes there's a middle ground...

i woke up today 4 hours after i actually woke up,
i wanted to dream but instead
i was toying around with memory with my eyes closed...
now i know the secrets i wanted to find out:
30 minutes in the brothel, max...
1 bottle of cider to get the blood pressure going...
two swigs of whiskey... followed by a caffeine infused
pepsi chaser... quit drinking coffee and
tea altogether... well... tea from time to time...

an octopus feeding on a harvest of oysters...
i'm pretty sure i'm not ******* pornographic actresses...
at least the ones i'm ******* enjoy ***
as much as i do...
i'm looking toward a 1960s ****** revolution
revival: i've read enough literature from the period
i'm not going to stop this train from rolling past:

mind you: i'm not the sort of man who's going
to compete with women in ****** affairs...
i hate the prospect of "competing" with women
when it comes to the number of ****** partners...
the mouth doesn't like when it's engaged
with a monster oyster of a *******'s genitals...
i just poured some cider, i.e. my **** into my mouth:
hell: i drank my own **** once...
i contaminated a glass of wine with it...

this isn't my body: i.e. her ****
and the metaphor behind the oyster...
and this isn't my blood: i.e. this is my ****
this is fizzy cider...
western civilization owns nothing to Christianity
after a certain period,
i don't know what the hassle is with
keeping this ******* of poly-schism upright...
if Marquis de Sade frightened a *******
by asking her to turn a crucifix into a *****...
lesser things were used...
carrots, cucumbers...
          
              but it's more fun to tame a woman's wildness
when she's already in a wild profession of
prostitution... you steal kisses...
she giggles when you go in to perform oral ***
on her... you laugh, she laughs...
i almost choked upon sniffing her unwashed *******
but i still slurped on her "excess skin"
when we were doing a 69er position...
weird... it feels so much better returning the favour
simultaneously...
but then during bouts of ****-constraints with
a want to ****... i've stop the piston ergonomics
and dive back down for a slurp:
constantly changing rhythm: sort of becoming
a Mahler of the bedroom...

and just by watching... **** me... esp. on the tube
going around London,
the people who have mastered sexuality
the best come from the Indian sub-continent...
even between male and male interactions
there is nothing pederast prone borrowing from
the ancient Greeks...
such harmony of the language of the body...
pinching, slapping, biting,
the most prone areas of the body...
the buttocks, the thighs, the *******...
oh for ****'s sake: ensuring you take her socks off...
why are you taking me socks off?
you're naked, or aren't you?

i love dancing, i should rekindle my love for playing
guitar, i still have one acoustic guitar in
my abode, i should attach those three missing
strings, drop-D and mash out System of a Down's
Aerials in the garden after a one cider too many...

ooh... i have broken into her...
Alina? i don't remember ******* someone 22 years old...
i remember being 21 and ******* a girl
19 years old... i had to look up some of
the "literature"...
well unlike Khedra: who remains with me throughout
via keeping eye-contact:
i eat her eyes out with my mind
and she eats out my minds with her eyes...
Mikaela closes her hers... i have to eat her tongue
and her lips with my lips:
but she still provides her lips to a testing
tease... not fond of the French practice
of using the tongue: mind you... i don't mind...
i use that on her ****...

                  but this 22 year old... it's suddenly scary:
i had a whirlwind in my stomach,
i felt sick: sickly sweet...
drinking a glass of cider getting a hard-on
smoking a cigarette and contemplating shadows
with the aid of candles...
******* is very much unlike actual ***...
i have to keep trying to remember:
yes, that's you *******...

            she's young: she's timid...
dishevelled hair and red lip-stick exfoliating her
imaginary kiss...
  oh my god, but once i finished with Mikaela...
she just had to show herself
upon me leaving and express her dissatisfaction
by giving me the index finger...
like a antique clock dangling bit
to measure time and seconds passed...
left... to right... left... to right...
oh no... you're not getting away so easily...

i showed her the index in return:
oh... oh... right... well... next time you're here
and i'm here: we'll try having a go a second time...
you're going to be as frigid as the first time
we ******?
****** enough men you didn't want to ****
to begin with? really?
now that you saw me in my informal / casual attire
you suddenly think i'm something of
a special slurp?!

i'm actually scared that what i write turns out to
be true, even this simple fact of showcasing myself
in what i normally wear in public...
hooked!

**** me: i was already sold on the cuisine of the Indian
sub-continent...
now, that i earn enough and i can spend it on ***?
i'm hooked on the Indian sub-continents
miraculous dedication to pristine ****** practices of:
well: it ought to be fun, ought it not?
i still can't laugh enough at the fact
that i can sit in one ante-chamber with 6 women
i ******...

give me 7... 8... i stopped counting...
but i'm not going to be a man and compete
with the women's liberation *** front...
so? this emergence of men looking for virgins blah blah
is truly a hunt for a unicorn...
i'm not hunting for unicorns:
i'm hunting for young girls who made mistakes
and are not yet equivalent to
the comfort of aged leather:
whether that's a jacket or an armchair...
i just need to persuade myself that i'm actually looking
for that...

if she doesn't give me enough eye-contact
i'll have to "wake" myself up and peer into
the mirror while i unfold in over-sizing her and
undertake claiming the "monster"...
*** is not *******:
it's complicated... it always was...
but esp. now...

i just have to remind myself that i'm not some basement
******, each, and, every, single, *******, time!
oh, the alcohol and the Afghan hash doesn't
make me tame: tamed... it just keeps me
under control... my mind is a ballistic...
a grenade... i need to: do "unprofessional"
deeds to keep me under control...

mix good music with some alcohol and some hash
and i'm pretending to be spinning
cobwebs from where i'm sitting towards
the moon...
all because the sexuality of the Indian sub-continent
is the most believable fun that turns:
hide & seek into all that's to have had fun of(f)
from ***!

i despise the Hebrew-Christian *****
mongering, i despise the "morality" behind this
attempt of consolidating women under the yoke
of: well? don't circumcise the men!
simple, no?!

i write blah blah this, i write blah blah that...
i don't want to write, though....
there are plenty of skeletons
in no one's closets...
time passes.... the ontology of people
remains intact..
a momentary lapse into magic...

a demigod is born... a demigod dies...
a demigod dies upon a cross...
the world is late when even 2000 years pass us by...
if that's how the world works...
so be it...

  the living and the dead require a shared
resting place...
    so be it!
              AMEN...
i have no qualms...
              and all chaos let (should it)
ensue!
best sleep and dream:
through these peaceful times...
                              these times of no-hindrance!
these "supposed" times....