It looked better in your head,
it sounded better, too.
You were out of breath and restless,
but that didn't stop you from making a fool out of yourself.
The shooting stars, the baseball field,
everything was perfect for closure.

When you got home and cleaned yourself off in the candle light,
you couldn't help but stare,
the people looked so scared,
you could feel it in their gaze,
it was like they were burning it into you,
almost as if they knew you could understand.
It made no sense
because you were alone,
and you went to the doctors,
and you got the medication.
You hadn't seen them in years
but they somehow broke through that strong wall of chemicals,
and here they were,
staring back at you like nothing had ever happened.

You sunk to the floor,
wrapping your arms around your head
trying to block the images,
they were hungry and you knew that they always would be,
it made you sick,
it made you shrink.