every night I like awake
terrified of falling asleep.
fighting to keep my eyelids open
despite their heaviness that patterns
the painful feeling in my chest.
I can't, I can't,
I whisper to myself
wishing I could be stuck
in permanent slumber.
wishing i could close my eyes
without ever having to open them again.
the light sound of rain seeps into my
consciousness as it lulls me to sleep.
I try to resist, but as my body gives in,
I'm defenseless.
my eyes shut, and
I finally detach myself from reality.
but I know I'll have to snap back eventually.