I hate that we're already in
the 'remember when' phase
the 'is he just tired
or does he not want me' days
Nights when I wait
to hear your soft sleeping breath
so I can let loose the tears
hours after their threat.
'Remember when' my face
was so chafed from your beard
and those hours of kissing?
Now it's a peck on the lips
You collapse on the couch
completely zone into a screen.

You say that you're grumpy
and you don't know why
I want to suggest that
it's cause you haven't had ***
but
I'm so scared of another
loving, quiet
rejection
the unreturned touches
leave me
as unsatisfied as unfinished phrases,
unturned pages
of the book
we no longer read together.