All I ever think about is you
The family I once had
My kids and mother - Sister and brothers
Everything I thought was true
seemed to turn sour - rotten - bad

They all turned their backs
and left me to die alone
How am I supposed to forgive and forget
When they sold me out to make up for what they lack
When they robbed me of all that I owned

They try to hide behind angels faces
Pretending to be kind and better people
I don't get how everyone gets snowed
When it is SO fake - but that's what social grace is
They hate behind closed doors but smile at the steeple

I don't get it how am I painted evil
when they are the abusers that broke me
how is it I am the one with the blame - the shame
When they are the ones that caused my upheaval
When they stole the only ones that set me free

They made me look foolish
not to mention they painted me crazy
how can you tell me to be normal
when you can't define it - its only that you wish
that you could change me so your life is less hazy
That won't happen until you put down your pipe dreams
You never really cared for me - Those are your words
So choke on them - to drown out my screams

You said you want to shoot me in the face
Our mother gave a half hearted apology
then made me feel the guilt - just like you do
Can you see the disgrace?
I am through with your ******* up psychology

So now I am forced to say goodbye
I don't know why I don't want to
You have given me every reason to hate
but all it did was make me want to cry
and say I am sorry to you
HOW SICK IS THAT
You can finesse this all to your favor
even when you through my trauma in my face
I still love you - in the combat
Where you told me I should have been there to save her
FROM YOU

How do you do what you do
and still like - still live with yourself
Or face a mirror
Or be in good health
Can your see yourself clearer?
Who is this monster you've become
And why does our mother just hide from
the truth that you aren't the same
or maybe you've always been this way
and just never changed

Even without you around
You still abuse me
I don't get it
I hear your voice when there's no sound
Why are you always trying to confuse me

The devil laughs when you wake up
this much I know for certain
because you do his work for him
Why don't you and he break up
and just close the curtain
The act is over- our family is done
are you happy at last
now that you have destroyed me - and had your fun
throwing up to me my whole past?

I will walk away from this war
because I want to survive the battle
you gave me plenty of scars
But God and Jesus will help me restore
and renew the broken heart that you rattled

I will find my victory
as the bridge burns and I walk away
I won't think of what you took from me
I can't help it though - my mind is contradictory
But at least I made it through today