it wasnt that
raw, choking
animalistic death that we read about
and call the hard, real truth
it was unearthly,
it was paranormal
like a demon holding her
up by the throat
and slamming her down
twisting her limbs
and trying to escape from her insides
it was
a horror scene
but more cold
more violent
there was no reason
for it to happen that way
at that time in the morning
i can still hear it
i can still see it
i can still smell it
i am bending over her as we speak
witnessing all
and being unable to do a thing
about it

for something so natural as death
you'd think there'd be an instinct,
a chemical in our brain
that allows us to deal
a way of processing and
understanding that
what we dealt with was real

but there is no such thing,
not in our bodies,
not in our souls.
apathy for the world
misanthropy aside
i cannot sit by
and watch the world
race itself into nothing
this universe alive, aching
shaking this God by the shoulders
and pleading for life,
life
let me have life
for a moment
and I will never speak of it again
I will forget all I know
I will return to the dark,
to the formless, to
nothing
with no one to watch me go
with no one to hold my hand
I am vanished
I am ceased

When a tree falls down with no one around to hear it, it never happened at all
Because as it falls,
on the forest ground,
on the hardwood hallway floor,
it surrenders itself
to the infinite void
and as it dies
the forest dies with it
the past dies with it
and as all the data decays
there is nothing left
to indicate
and with no way
to ever find out
that anything was ever even there
to begin with

this is the end of our universe
this is the grand finale
of this little cycle of existence
and we are watching it
right from home, folks!
with not a **** clue
of what we're looking at
at all

We can conceptualize
we can philosophize
we could be right
and yet
as we cross that line
of that great event horizon

it will not have mattered
and we will have learned
nothing

and to nothing

we will return.