They don’t know my answers
Because I don’t even know my questions
Tell me who I am
I dare you please
Because obviously you know more about me than I do
Let me in on what know
Because kid, there isn’t a word, I haven’t heard.
And there isn’t a judgment that hasn’t been passed
Spoken or silent
The eyes, they tell it all.
Songs that tell me I’m beautiful
I believe, so naïve.
I try to tell myself the same thing,
But instead my words, like daggers
They stab me, and sabotage me.
So tell me I’m worthless, and I don’t deserve this.
But I worked too **** hard to lose it.
I’ll show you, I’ll prove it.
I refuse to believe the voice that tells me I’m not worth it
I fear that I will fail
But I don’t even show up to give myself the failing chance.
Sometimes I become my own worse enemy
And I call myself names so cruel the burns leave blisters on my skin.
First, second, or third degree, no amount of cold water can cool that blaze
Because I know where my heart is, so I know where the soul stays
But each scar I leave, and each bruise I receive
Is a constant reminder I am not perfect,
And no matter how hard I try
Or how much I tell myself
Being perfect isn’t part of being human.
I refuse to be mediocre
But I strive to be amazing.
Because I can’t tell you your potential
Until I have reached mine.
Whether I’m taking one step forward or two steps back
I’m only thankful that I am still moving.
There is more to this life than what I can write
Or sing or say or do
Yet, what is left is me facing you
Saying kid, it will be alright
And I know that sounds so over said
But just like history, truth repeats itself
Or else it wouldn’t be true.
I don’t know who I am
And I certainly am nowhere close to finding out.
But I don’t think, or can, or ever will know
Because I am nothing but myself in this moment,
And myself is constantly changing and learning.
Even as I stand still, and my feet stay planted to the ground
I still flourish
Like a redwood proud and sturdy in the forest
The roots beneath my feet still expand and thrive
And that is enough inspiration to stay strong and survive
And realizing my branches will extend far,
and the birds that nest, or friends who climb, I welcome them
just as I welcome the woodpeckers that pick at my bark
and the lovers who carve their initials inside a heart
because in life I learned I can’t choose what comes to me
I can only let it pass, filter through, and soak up the good.
Because either way a girls got do the best she could
But one day rain will come,
And wash away all the hate
Leaving nothing but purified water for me take
And when that rain comes, it will leave me a bow
Filled with beautiful colors and *** of gold.
As a child I learned early on
I must share that gold
Because the gifts I receive
Are not just for me
But a chance to spread love, and create harmony
And all I really want is happiness
And I love the word happiness because it is spelled with an I
Instead of a why
Because happiness isn’t a question
Some mornings I wake up, and my stretch kisses the room
Other mornings I feel empty, with out reason, and doomed
But I try my best to know that feeling will pass
At least by tomorrow, or by tonight,
As I lay my heavy head on the pillow
And count jumping sheep
Over the moon and onto the stars I will land in the galaxy
Going light years and far
And I promise to come back
After my alarm clock rings
But just for tonight
Please let me dream.