i'm feeling good... i'm charging up... i've been charging
up for about four days so far...
jerking off without climaxing...
fixating on the crack: the grand canyon(s) between
the the ******* and ***...
my god... sprinkle some blues on me:
give me some alcohol... i need a straitjacket...
a... straightening-jacket...
i look sort of hunched... wild-eyed in my head:
but obviously playing poker externally...
i'm charged... Duracell bunny on the ready...
i can't wait for tomorrow...
that ****** shift... finishing at 9pm but getting
paid until 11:30pm...
i don't mind... the number of gigs i've seen...
sure... Coldplay have created the best atmosphere...
i hardly looked in the direction
of the stage... i was looking at the crowd
enjoying themselves: by "consultation" with the crowd:
i was enjoying myself...
     the best precursor for an hour in a brothel awaits me:
how many tender wrists did i touch...
fiddling with the wrist-bands last time?
ugh... sausage fingers of mine...
shy girls with wrists the girth of my *****...
ha ha... exaggeration... close enough... some...
me fiddling with tender hands trying to focus on
the binding... of course i touched them "up"...
well... the most tender meat in man is...
on the inner-parts... on the inner-parts of legs:
where thighs are external...
around the wrists... i sometimes elevate *******
to caressing myself around the inner skin
of my arms...
recently: rather: today: i started thinking about...
Albert Fish... it's not like i have a fetish for
American serial killers...
but you have to admit... inserting needles into your
groin prior to execution...
this inability to feel pain?
   exquisite... it had to be...
   or rather: it's not about not feeling it: it's like
that android in Prometheus exacted while
watching Lawrence of Arabia:
it's not that it hurts: it's not minding that it hurts...
i'm going to enjoy tomorrow...
fat chance of my going back to that Lahore curry house...
that Tikka Lamb wrap was utterly ****...
i'm heading for the cheapest... chain-gang-burger at
McDonalds... it's one thing to appreciate
the independent bicycle shop to get your bicycle fixed:
quiet another for any local north London grub:
just give me the Romford chicken shop alternative
just right off the station...

wrist-bands again... i'll be touching up so many maidens
up... perfect for me: i have a fetish for hands...
for hands... wrists just dissolve me...
shy eyes to boot...
i frenzy in a deep freeze while there's only heat
around me!
to hell with being a political creature:
to hell with being a social creature...
what i learned from Marquis de Sade i elevated
to the statures of Ovid: and i became alchemical!
i'm not stopping...

the crudeness of Marquis de Sade mingling
with the nobility of Ovid... what will you get?
you won't get... that crude example of
the womaniser that was Casanova...
perhaps: if i had the money i already have...
but then: life would be boring...
i like living a life not having what i could easily
have... if... i sold a few things in my property:
but... that would be boring... boorish...
i'm sentimental about beetroots...
and potatoes...

                         you probably didn't ask but i'll tell you:
women... of such volume... i... i...
i just can't help myself...
they have bodies that embody you...
they mingle with you...
they're like serpents...
i might have to do some extra push-ups...
i am high: perhaps drinking:
but the mere thought of *** secured is
like a drug...
of all sorts... i hope i don't dream up
anything... i probably won't...
    
i have ***** socks... even though i mopped the house
today... i can't find my loafers...
oh no no: i know where i have my shoelaces...
they're still attacked to my shoes...
what?!

the age of the guitarists is over...
it's down to the drummers and the bassists...
i should have started playing the drums...
i'm usually perched on a windowsill with
an invisible crow pounding out a rhytn:
hey! if Walt Whitman can write a song
of self-celebration!
i'll better him!

it usually takes three degrees of separation...
for me? it only takes two...

bassists: Michael Balzary (Flea)
  "vs." Justin Chancellor...
               Red Hot Chilli Peppers vs. Tool...
likewise the drummers...
Chad Smith "vs." Danny Carey...

        i'm not going to entertain any dialectical
approach: my opinions are fixed...
hmm... Socrates... what you think about
aesthetic-dialectical-fixations?
they have to exist, no? i just stated mine...
you can't approach certain matters
of discussion with a dialectical approach
to undermine your opponent
with a counter argument?
Socrates... you're not going to persuade
me! aesthetics lies outside the realm
of dialectics! the eternal motto:
beauty lies in the eye of the beholder:
you will be unable to change, my, mind!

you can't!
you can't tell me what i like or what i don't
like: what i'm supposed to or not supposed to, like!
which is why the idea of fame:
so many people aspire to: is so... flimsy...
it's flimsy because: the fame that is supposed
to arrive with it: is so selective:
if i were to call on fame: i'd call upon a deity!
all must know: or none at all!

i'm hardly begrudging: i'm just willing
to allow: people to make the willing sacrifices to understand
that... fame is a difficult process of
attainment: me? i'm aiming for fame...
after i die... not when i'm alive: hell no!
but not even Socrates... attired himself
in undermining the arts...
too scared... the ****** marched into war...
but attacking artists was too much for him...

what, dialectic when it comes to art?
people are fickle... "class" A likes art B...
"class" B likes art C...
you can't avoid the tides of the Thames
or the seas like you can't avoid the whims and fickleness
of peoples' preference regarding what
art is to be liked: what art is to be ignored:
what is to be abhorred: and what's to be
discarded!

there's no room for dialectical reasoning
when the sole reasoning is
a collectivised matter of: consensus!
there's no room for a quest for independent thinking
in some areas of life... art... entertainment:
no chance!
   one can at best: make hypothesis after hypothesis
at a distance... but never
able to implement any change...
no change is going to come
from an idea toward a system that behaves
with a kinship to its natural environment...
the entertainment industry changes with
what can be: at best... ascribed to a flock of investors:
or their lack of...

scared baby boomer typos of period-drama zombie folk
too scared to attempt euthanasia...
oh: but i'm here...
i'm gearing up...
i have my wet lips... tomorrow i'm hoping
to **** on a *******'s **** for free...
i'm here... whoever the **** i am...
i'm getting ready...
i'll die: that is certain...
but perhaps i'll have a legion of shadows
to manage...
who knows! after all, god is dead!

but before i go? i need children and animals on my side...
i need to showcase a few examples of
my benevolence on these poor creatures...
i need to be kind to children... i need to be kinder
to animals... the rest? will follow...
i've already done some of the exacted work...
thank you: thank you me, me... thank you: me...

that's how "the" hierarchy works...
first... be kind to animals... regardless of your
dietary requirements... the ones you pet...
what's that infamous Kurt Zouma chant
about kicking cats: left right and centre?
it doesn't matter about the diet...
pets... insects are enough proof...
i personally can't **** a fly... mosquitos?!
**** them! those crucifix fixators!

second? treat children in kind: with your own
stature: perhaps treat them with less of your
own stature...

thirdly? women... esp. the prostitutes...
no shame... no agitation...
i feel no pains over her experiences...

fourthly: my fellow man?
like i might treat my own shadow: i basically avoid it...
or: if i must... i peer into it
like a woman might peer into a mirror
and i find something difficult to carry
for a day's worth of carrying anything to begin with...

this has been a day's worth of carrying:
the weight of the entire day...
with sunrise and sunset...
with all the inhibitions of youth
and the exhibitions of old age...

2am is upon me... there's plenty of time to sleep:
and "wish"... Freud can *******...
i don't dream....
i just see or sleep...
                           dreams are the "vantage" pointers
of people that are reminiscent of people:
they're simply peopled-leftovers....
it was: nice... to learn something a little
via being dehumanised...

great learning...
               while they entertained their ******* Ascot...
while they glorified their clinging
to the crown...
i saw termites undermine the glorification
of hell's emblem of the crucifix...
heaven?! heaven didn't send the Lord of Mosquitos
into these realms!
hell did... 2000 glorious years
of progress via suffering!
and what have we achieved?!
the most glorious of things!

                                               hmm!
i dare to think: or not think!
i think we're living in a period whereby
Moloch will arise...
              western woman's fascination
with infanticide...
                    the Epoch of Moloch just started...
hell and all its fury is making a comeback...
for long ago did we fall into this dominion
of metaphors?!
                          ancient times await us... to try to
remember... perhaps that's why i'm not dreaming
when i'm sleeping...
ancient times await us...
perhaps god is forgiving giving the idiots surrounding
him:
perhaps the vanity i.q. of the likes of us
wasn't such a bad thing...
boys! i think we've been told to ascend!
gather up your marching orders!

we're going up! oh no... believe me...
we won't be singing!
apparently no cellos or violins... in the godly choir:
that's... about to change...
we'll be the orchestra! while the innocently new-born
will remain the choir!
oh... but we're going up...  Moloch took over...
women are making sanctity of baby-sacrifice their
natural right equivalent to giving birth!
no wonder the population of Africa and that
of India is exploding...
   i get it: life's too expensive...

Dante, or Milton?
            either: neither...
                             what's happening right now?
thank god i didn't invest in having children...
i'm so glad: oh so glad...
                 i just need one rotten idea of mine
to pass into a mind of a someone i'm genetically unrelated to!