My understanding of the universe and death and life have come to a standstill.
It seemed before I had a solid grasp.
It isn't as if I'm blown away now or know something I didn't before
but the brutality of it all
Suddenly I wish it weren't so
I know my mother is gone,
but I wish there was a heaven
I know she died on the floor
but I wish she felt us in that room
I know that I can die on the plane
but I feel now that I am obligated to live
Death is random
and death has demonstrated that
and yet now it's hard for me to accept
that I can't just change that
moving forward
I understood it
I got it
I accepted it
and yet now
I just wish it weren't so.