somewhere in between bliss and despair
i am stuck
i'm trying to get to paradise

i feel like i'm in an empty corridor
cold office building corridor
walking down
looking at every door to my left and right
trying to find paradise

doors to my left had writings that read
"Kalvin", "Halloween 2014", "12/15/2015"

doors to my right read
"Nemo pen holder", "whistler hotel hide & seek", "evening tea and apricot jam"

it smells like an old carpeted apartment building
they all have that same **** and cigarette smell

i keep walking and walking

the colours of the wallpaper agitating me
making me uneasy
it's that kind of light baby blue that you see in an old hospital or psych ward
i hate pastels

the lamps above flicker and buzz
and the corridor seems to get longer and longer
what if i never get to paradise?

each door has light illuminating from the cracks
door "Russian New Years" had all sorts of different coloured hue's coming from inside
muffled disco
Can't Get You out of My Head by Kylie Minogue playing
and shadows moving left and right can be seen from the bottom of the door

it's hard not to want to just keep visiting all these places
it's comforting
so warm
safe

but my happiness isn't in reliving my past
my happiness
my bliss
is a glossy dark blue door
blue door that i can't seem to find

i take a look around
the hallway
is a darker shade of blue
the lights aren't flickering
it's slowly gets warmer as i walk down the hallway
walls turn deeper and deeper into blue

i pick up my pace
i run down the hallway
i can see it
the door
my door
my bliss
at the very end of the hallway

i run faster
i'm sprinting
it's close
it's near i can see it ahead if i squint very hard
i'm close
but not there yet
still running in the hallway
between bliss and despair