i was pretty sure there was no album they (the red hot chilli peppers) released between Californication and By the Way... but i stumbled upon something curious today upon waking... oh... i do know that they released a single in between the two albums... or was it after By the Way? Fortune Faded... well... i just found the Fortune Faded album: 1. starlight 2. save the population 3. fortune faded 4. bicycle song 5. runaway 6. leverage of space 7. rolling sly stone 8. brandy (you're a fine girl) 9. 50fifty 10. mini epic (**** for your country) 11. black cross 12. i feel love 13. flea's trumpet treated by john 14. tuesday night in Berlin...
again: this terrifying heat: best leave watering the garden till after 10pm... a b.b.q. dinner: black kiшka with onions... what's a black kiшka? a cross between black pudding and Haggis... "cultural appropriation": i wonder who borrowed from who... well... it's not a ******* sombrero so: i'm taking bets on the roulette... this weather only allows cycling after 8pm... last time a car pulled up to me and a guy hollered out of the window: there are your lights? what lights? exactly... and drove off... ******... prior to that a woman screamed out of the window and started driving off... i caught up with her and screamed back: ******* *****... showed her the finger and disappeared... fair enough... i'm riding in hours nearing the kingdom of nocturnal creatures... i fixed a back light today... there, better, *******?! no... not good enough...
i have this one particular route... it takes me about one and a half hours... i call it: el clásico... why? i used to take it almost every day after school after i turned 16... there was this one summer... a magical summer...
it was a summer where i would usually visit my grandparents... mainly my grandfather: we'd go fishing... we'd go cycling... he would introduce me to his friend who also liked to cycle for long period of time... all retired people... and we'd cycle via Bałtów: picking up goat's milk from this old lady in a proper out of the way ****-hole of a place to live... anyway... that summer back in 2002 i had a plan... i was growing my hair long: in school there were jokes: Chewbacca... blah blah... why don't you grow your hair into a mullet? ha ha... ha ha... it wouldn't look good on someone as fat as i was... i finished my G.C.S.Es as a a chubby chub... after the summer... i came back weighing in 105kg... coming back to 85kg...
wow... how the dynamic changed... a new girl from Australia started eyeing me up as we started our A-levels... i suddenly became visible... but? i still remained myself: i was playing cards with the guys... perhaps the nerdy guys i used to hang around swapping Pokemon cards with ended... that time this girl in English class started flashing her legs in English class: thighs... the thighs of Gemma... she was intending to flash them at the guy next to me in the bench... he got off with running to the toilet for a quick ****... while i looked and was immediately scorned... "told off"... pervert... it's like a match-make made in heaven of Islam... the girls don NIQABS and the boys don sunglasses...
how i was told off... until another Gemma from Thailand told the other Gemma (Laporte) to cool off... stop flashing... but... hey WHITEWHITEWHITE... magical summer... i lost the weight... the sun allowed my hair to grow long enough to grow long enough to be able to give me a French braid... like that one donned by Johnny Depp in Chocolate...
realisation period... now i was changing the dynamic of worth... i started bringing weirder and weirder fruit for lunch... pomegranates... passion fruits... kiwis... well... kiwis are not that weird... i was still playing cards with the boys... the sudden spike in the girl's interest in me i sort of ignored... i was ignored prior... focused on education and education it was... but i was already spotting all the examples of the ancient fable of high school sweethearts...
obviously after university some people thought they were born in a small town in a small world in a snail world... they had to move: London's not enough... New York over here... South America over there... try being born in ostrowiec świętokrzyski: now i'm the king rat of London... on a bicycle at least... i don't need to move...
come on... it's not like i came on a banana boat from "x"... but it's not like i'm a mr. smarty from Warsaw: from one capital to another capital...
i don't like writing about this... after all... i wasn't too "bad boy" enough: oh i get it... i sometimes lend myself to "the narrative": i'm being sold a narrative of Darwinism that: apparently doesn't play out in reality... my deficiencies? i drink... but i self-imposed that... on myself... survival of the fittest? i'm 6ft2... 100kg... chances of me "catching" cancer are slim... i have 20-20 vision... i blast music on full volume on headphones sometimes on hours on end... but i can still hear an electric car creeping up on me when cycling... i have basic morals...
it's not that i think that i'm the perfect catch... god's gift to women... i just think that the prescribed narrative of Darwinism for man is a load of *******... survival of the mediocre... cattle...
i'm using the sort of objective language that's expected of me... this is what Darwinism provided: there are no rules in place: when there was once humanism there's now only some version of animalism... we lent out attention to make the world coherent by employing animals to explain our... disgruntlements... our objections... me? i'm trying to find the man in man: ontology... rather than finding a man in animal... i find finding the man in animal: slightly boorish... perhaps even boring... but we borrowed from too many animals in order to clarify how we are to behave...
this is exclusive to the English-speaking world... in that case? i'm a ******* BEAR... i'm a "loner": are bears, "LOSERS" because they are loners?! i'm a bear: you ******* chimp! how's that? who would win a ruffle-and-tuffle between a gorilla and a bear? am i even asking this question?
медведь (niedzwiedz) vs. горилла (goryl): exactly... what's дь? dź... and дъ? dż.... soft via acute hard via the otherwise hiding caron... swapped from RZ between R and Z or with the case of coupling D and Z... well: "who knows"...
the Copernican revolution made sense... but the revolution the morphing of Darwinism: man looking into a telescope while at the same time looking up into the "telescope" of an ape's ****... is another matter...
never mind... i had this route... a surfer's body... and hair to prove it... we ****** off elsewhere after high school... i was the only one that went as far as Scotland... the "king's route": after all... didn't William gain an education in St. Andrews? i was in Edinburgh... dangling like a spider atop Cow's Gate... this could: just work...
but what is "the" el clásico? a route i used to take after school almost every day after having lost all that weight... this was a different variation... an extended 'un...
starting from Collier Row...
1. up the B175 2. down B 1459... 3. Collier Row Road 4. onto the B174... 5. onto the A1172... 6. New N Rd toward Hainualt St. 7. A123 8. at the Fairlop roundabout staying on the A123... 9. coming to the A12 on the Gants Hill keeping to the A123 10. gearing up to Winston Way... 11. the A1083 roundabout... 12. straight onto the A118... 13. it's still the A118 Seven Kings... switches names from High Road to... London Road (cycling in reverse... London Road would be known as Romford Road) 14. at the roundabout take the A125... 15. turn into Exchange Street... 16. via Western Road onto Eastern Road 17. stop at the headlights... 18. cross the A1251 like a pedestrian onto Carlton Road... 19. cycle up to Gidea Park station: 20. Balroges Lane 21. Station Road.. 22. then unto Upper Brentwood Rd. 23. until "returning" unto the Main Rd. the A118... 24. the onto Pettits Lane.. 25. crossing the A12... onto Pettits Lane N. 26. at the roundabout onto the B175... then into Wallace Way... then into a service road... then... home...
the "incident" happened at point 9. on the A123... at high street Ilford... my god... how much it has changed... little ******* Bombay... it used to be a predominantly Jewish... but now? the whole world settled here: it would seem... one Turkish restaurant one Indian restaurant after another... fair enough: i still don't have my headlight on... because a road-bike is not made for noctruanal musing... Nietzsche might have envisioned walking to be the catalyst for inviting thought: i tend to keep to cycling to wake up my sleeping-mind... i remember this one motorist slowing down to "excuse me from giving excuses" for not having tail-lights: yeah... thanks "dad"... but this old man was trying to do something unimaginable in terms of English traffic laws: he was trying to prove a point by: jail-walking... he just stood there astounded and exclaimed: where are your lights? i cycled past him and pointed at my rear: what the **** is this? look! that's at least one half of the lights necessary, so? *******!
that's the first time i became insolent to an elder... why? no one else in makeshift Bombay seemed to care... there's a billion of them: a billion more will come... you don't make critique of me while i cycle: i turn into a Hydra... one the adrenaline kicks in... i become a notorious *******... i pointed it out to him: perhaps he had good intentions... perhaps... citizen-policeman my ***... if i had enough time i would have suggested: so... is the Redbridge Council... saving money... on not turning on the street-lights at the appropriate time? then again: would you?! could you make the same **** comments concerning those Deliveroo electric cycle couriers who don't bother?! just because i'm white i'm supposed to keep / meet high standards?! *******: old man...
you will pass making this sort of comment because "someone" is Indian... while i get the brunt of your "civic duty" because i'm white? to hell with that sort of *******! you may be old: but you should understand someone telling you to ******* like someone telling a baby to *******... because you can mouth off your fellow European: like a diseased creature of defeat when it comes to your fellow... but: cower: before the altar of ******* HINDUSTAN!
i am a monster! people tend to create those... isolated instances of insolence... i can't give two-***** two care whether English girls get ***** by Pakistani gangs in Rotherham... i can't... i told a man to get off my case...
you may: criticise me when walking... kneeling... sleeping... but this old man just chose to be iritated by something already hanging... too late to correct? me?
there's a fury in my thought as much as there's a wind to couple it with! but... you wouldn't dare... to make this suggestive-correction for some Hindustani "******* compatriot": some ******* Sikh baron?! white man easy access to white man... THANK **** I'M NOT ENGLISH AND THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY POST-COLONIAL GUILT TRIPPING TO WAIT FOR ME...
me? i'm in CAMP ****... **** it... go all out... this makes absolutely no ******* sense... but this old man: did he think old age would save him, from me turning around and telling him to *******? did he? he wouldn't have attached so much concern for "traffic": cross the, ******* road: at the allocated segments... your ******* prune...
oh but i love the anger: it's invigorating... it's no longer angry white man... it's the angry anonymous cyclist... but it's forever the ******* desperate black man... anger *** desperation... what a cocktail! borrow from the Darwinism... ha ha... not by the focus of what's man's "plan"...
WHITE VS. WHITE... of course he wouldn't have commented on some deliveroo courier cycling on an electric bicycle without lights... i had the rear covered... but no! white on white "guilt" implies: i'm the one who's to keep standards: no one else is... why, should, i? i can be nice to old men... drink a beer... chat with them on a bench... about their grandchildren and their pets... not... NOT... when i'm cycling... you try taming a monster... you tell me i'm a ****** cyclist... the end...
my sclera and my iris disappears... i literally turn blind with rage... at a time: begging for the borough of Redbridge to turn on the: ******* street-lamps... no... 9pm not good... this old man should have shut his: ******* mouth... now i feel sorry that he had to hear: ******* from me... i shouldn't speak to elders like so... but if one: ******* akin to him had the ***** to tell one white boy: to keep his headlights up-kept... while ignoring all the Hindu-*******-stan "couriers" the "pass"? for fear of racism... *******... old, man... no no... you should have been crossing the road at the designated place...
ENOUGH! OF THIS POST-COLONIAL ENGLISH ANTI-RACIST CLOWNING! you have your little, *******, inter-racial escapades... your little inter-*** trans-gender fetishes... sooner will the Russian invade the Ukrainian than see this ******* be sieved to the top! no! niet! nie!
if i were adorning a darker skin tone... if i wasn't a my usually "self" copper-neck of suntail imprint... would this elder: pseudo-elter make such a remark? oi! bruh! where'z your simmer framez?! Cannes the walk but Cannes the: ******* talkz?!
for a minute i thought he cared... a minute later i realised: citizen-policeman... citizen-;policemen belong in the crowd of *****... cultivating ulterior tactics of submission...
i didn't just exchange a ******* too with my grandfather... my grandfather would have said: cycle on... this petty ******... i'm exploring my hands...extending my fingers in a way that will not allow a handshake... first: purses... and fists clenched... "hello"...
why is it an "el clásico"? the distance takes under two hours... adding the wind? and after having eaten a dinner? not bad... no... though: no... this "white guilt" *******... i'm not buying it... the RUSSIANS are not buying it... i'm with them... i'd sooner a fellow ethnic tribe: akin to me: suffer... than leave them for the pastures of the cancerous ideas of the "west": mind you... i simply can't care about Ukraine: thank you... Ukraine... for Chernobyl... an atomic BOMB is a BOMB... but a nuclear REACTOR? is a ******* nuclear REACTOR?! why does my mother blame me for her ailments?! why did the Jews receive world war II reparations while the Polacks didn't? why didn't we receive Chernobyl reparations? why does my mother blame me for my birth? if the ******* trees... changed colour from spring to autumn during this advent... she blames me: she doesn't blame Chernobyl...
*******: weningmenschen! menschen von hafer: und knabbern! the Russians will sooner wage war against their own ethnically minded: than succumb to the mindset of the: eroding west! and i would too! mind you: i think i already have! i would wage war against my own kind than make them succumb to the most ******* worth of scrutiny: unlike the propaganda of Orwell... this "double-think" is an an "extra-think"...
the English don't believe in ethnicity: they believe in race.... me? i believe in race... that's why i deem myself as an compound: Anglo-Slav... was it that hard, for Anglo-Saxons to emerge?! I'M, *******... ASKING... you might as well give me a ******* reply! no reply?! good! TOLL!
zweigesichtmurmelnkastrat: that's how i see the natives of the land i live in... i don't even need to bring the Zeppelins, either...
mein blut ist sieden: zu punkt von auferstehen die toten!