Emptiness has darkened my eyes as I hopelessly beg for my life to end
......not literally
I'm enveloped in darkness
It's not safe in here anymore
Where is this light that I was promised would be there at the end of this god forsaken tunnel

Maybe if I push my fingers into my eyes... to rupture my sight..
All the **** I've had to put myself through would just.... fall away
I don't understand this free fall I'm in
I'm scared because the worst part of this mental illness is catching up with me
I'm somewhere between total recovery and total relapse
I can't dance around this anymore


I have to recover.