But I could not accept that reality - the one that took the man who loved me out of his skin and zapped him into thin air; a cold hard truth that he would not be loving me tonight. He would not hold me again, kiss me again, or gently smooth his hands over my messy hair, my forehead perspiring from the humidity and your eyes glistening while you look up from me, as you kiss me. As you love me - and I can not lose you; neither can I live in such a denial as this