It always seems to come to this,
me looking from the outside in. Always one and never two.
or at least
not the two i'd prefer to be in at the time.

I had one, but then she left.

and even though I was only something part of the time,
it was better
than being one, alone, all of the time.
by myself.


And i hate to play the card, you know the one.
But asking you to be there for me,
just once (or rather for a time period this once)

is that too much?
Have I not earned, not given enough,
to be given to?

clearly not,
clearly me, is meant to be alone
in pain
in joy
although lately, just in pain