what a ****-show...
    i don't have the luxury of renting... not in London...
i know that in Anglo-Saxon culture living
with your parents in your 30s is a bit weird...
and well into your 40s... probably your 50s...
magically weird...
     i truly understand it...
         how could a boy "love" his parents so much?
love?! what the **** is that?
i loved my grandfather, maternal...
my paternal 'un abandoned my father...
i don't even know what my paternal grandmother
looks like... or looked like... is she dead?
don't know...
            i have a fond memory of my maternal
great-grandmother...
she used to feed my grandmother: toddler...
opiates on the front in between the warring
Germans and Russians so she would shut up...
opiates... makowina... a poppy-seed milk...
my maternal great-grandfather?
oh... i remember him too...
a shadow... a shadow-form...
probably my first memory...
   he used to be a security guard at a nursery...
so one time he took me on a shift...
he played the big piano... i played the little piano...

it does look weird... it feels weird...
but me renting a house with random flatmates
while making some Pakistani landlord rich?!
sorry... what?!
       and living with five random strangers would
make it easier to go out and bring some poor
girl round for a one-night stand?
would it? could it?!
    as much as i abhor English egalitarianism...
i'm going to have to side with the Japanese
and the love-hotels:

learn from the outsiders... of all Asians the Japanese
are most likely to feed into the beloved state
of European queer... in-ness...
the isolated "genius"...
    of all the Asian people... the Japanese feel as much
isolation as the Europeans...
why do you think they competing with "us"
in ski-jumping events?!
  eh?!   any Thai any Chinese ski-jumpers?!
the eternal smile of Noriaki Kasai...
                                  ノリアキ   カサイ...
i love sport... i love sports...
   female tennis... ++... Olympic judo... Olympic wrestling...
Olympic pingpong... Olympic archery...
i love sport because i'm not a fanatic
football hooligan...
           i like kissing rough...
sometimes biting lips... sometimes smashing teeth
against teeth...

point being?
                   ラブ ホテル
(rabu hoteru) - love hotel...
                     well... we don't have that in Europe...
we just have brothels...
and the alternative being?
is there an alternative?
                  
i couldn't love just one woman...
which makes me smiles whenever, yet another Muslim
colt decides to be all brass-***** and blow himself up
for a reward he hasn't tested in owning...
hmm... hmph... ah ha ha...
it's as if none of them sat in a waiting room
of a brothel with a carriage of... line in sight...
folded, naked legs...

or ****** two at a time...
   i'm wondering about these supposed "martyrs"...
these involuntary-celibate frustrations...
sure... some ego-boost if i had my own condo...
revenue of a corporate lawyer blah blah...
eh... life's cheap... no need to buy dinner
or cocktails... we used to do that
in our teens... an art gallery ticket: bought by me...
a cinema ticket... bought by me...
a sushi bar finish off... bought by me...
then the grand disappointment...
a blow-job on the bunk-bed... she shared with her
sister... telling me while she was doing
the deed: what would by daddy think
if he saw me...

     **** your daddy... and i'm ******* off...
talk during *** is a bit like...
a bit like... ******* out a tapeworm when you're
also constipated...
i don't understand talk during ***...
can't eyes just speak for eyes...
eyes eat eyes... and... onomatopoeias...
can't we just pretend like we want to say
something: but can't?!

of course it's weird that i still live with my parents...
down the road an Asian household
undermined the English architectural sensibility
with three-generations of Asians living under
one roof: "Baroque" ugliness...
sorry... forgot the hyphens...

                 i get it... angry living among white people...
angry whittle-Asian kids... don't blame me...
blame your parents... for abducting you:
for not teaching you your mother tongue...
it's so funny when they become angry
in a tongue that's not theirs'...
akin to Asian Dub Foundation's: La Haine...
oh sure... because the Japanese are on board...
******... Pan-Asian reinterpretation of
of the Pan-Slavic movement that was Communism...

reiterated with the ****** left in the west...
pink hair: rainbows! rainbows! unicorns! unicorns!
not all Asians are Pakistanis...
some are Japanese folk that like
competing with Europeans: ski-jumping...
because we share: winters...
******* copper-necks...
        RE-TAR-DO PRIMO DELUXE!

it's not enough for a Genghis Khan to ****
your women once...
it takes a mind like me to **** your
women twice...
thank you: Manchester bombing...
yeah... thanks... Bangalore and
Lahore is: waiting with open arms!
Darwinism and the leftover of logic...

                 funny how these angry youths
are not speaking their own tongue:
oh... i have a retainer...
i was spreading it concerning the conflict in
Ukraine... brat brata pocharata...
i still have my tongue:
i was born into it...
                 too bad for these metaphysical nomads...
who probably require psychiatric care...
since... they can't be evaluated as quantifiably
believable...
   no... most of them? i've seen
the "process": INBREDS...

awkward looking people...
         INBREDS... they look comfortable...
but if i were adorned in Hugo Boss **** uniform...
eh?!
  would i, think, twice?!
i like the idea of dangling a stick... while eating a carrot...
but i also like dangling a carrot and...
using the stick for kink...

my mind warped... sorry...
you don't come near me...
even i don't want to come near me...
no one comes near me, unless it's trying to **** me...

ha ha... Muslim colt martyrs
wishing for a harem...
the same ones... that... never visited a brothel?!
wow!
o.k. let's test the waters... and of the supposed 72 virgins
how many would: could: would:
cut the phallus off of the dear: "adventurer"?!
dearest... Odysseus?!

how many could bed the said "satyr" for eternity?!
i'm... *******... waiting!
Asian my ***...

yeah... it's weird that i still live with my parents...
do they have to pay mortgage payments?!
no...
do i own Nicholas II banknotes...
and gold coins with the effigy... yeah...
but i'm "poor"... so?
do i own a rare bibliography... yeah...
but do women look beyond the stated obvious...
no? so? i'll be 70 years old looking at a 20 year old girlfriend...

i'll become a true artist!
        or i'll just simply **** myself...
    because... why the hassle? why the bother...
              i like blinking at a blankness and nothing
and something resembling a tree...
and that's because:
sometimes... people seem...
oh seem... oh so very... "borrowed";

can't tell the difference whether i want to **** on them,
**** on them or simply ***** on them;
hell... maybe all three... or perhaps the one...
finding that marvelous medieval cure using
leeches... bleeding out... maybe that's my first choicest
of choices.

aren't the dentists in England forcing people to
drink too much whiskey and perform the "detail"
using pliers?!
    really?! it's that bad?! the herald state of capitalism
is hiding dentistry issues?!
           thank god that i don't need anyone
to do my nail-clipping.

this one girl i was trying to date...
beautiful auburn ginger hued NPC...
her dog started licking my wounds on my knuckles...
weeks passed... i turned into a dog...
and started to nibble on my wounds...

father, dearest... mother's not dead!
first day she's gone...
he comes home and i get a shouting down...
why isn't the fence painted?!
why why why...
but the hockey stick is still a hockey stick...
ice is still ice...
i cooked  medium rare steak...
and the chips...
and i poached the pepper just about right
with the green beans?

i will never fall in love with q woman:
i can't allow myself to belong to somone
so much...
       no! nein! niet! nie!
         we were eating steaks come 5pm...
in absolute silence...
              you love her too much: you miss her too much:
i can't lace myself to love a woman like that...
let's just put it plain: YOU'RE WEIRD...
not fantasy weird akin to...
              NORMAN BATES....
   just ******* weird...
               normal weird...

i'm not you father...
i need to **** more women and love them
even less... i need to die with a heart of stone!
call me night... call me wind... call me the defeaning
wilting of all things confined to a skull.