"I want a divorce."
Four words never hurt worse.
Seconds stabbed my heart
like so many needles.
An endless well swallowed my thoughts.
My first response was tracks of water
coursing down my now still face.
There was no outrage,
no questions,
just tears in silence.

Worse!
You responded with lips on mine,
ones that spilled apologies after ripping so deep.
The world had bottomed out from under me,
I floated in a slow fall of anguish.
Anguish you seemed blind to.

Why? I asked myself.
How did we come to this?
Where were the words of love,
the words of tenderness,
the words that had been spoken
in forgotten moments from not so long ago?

Your declaration echoed in my mind
causing tremors of loss
to well and fester upon me in moments.
My body, never seeming so detached
before those words were uttered, was numb.

Then there was nothing.
Nothing but cold acceptance.
The words so callously spoken forgotten.
Replaced with, "I don't love you."

Still worse, you didn't leave after those words.
We shared our broken bed that night.
You whispered you still cared,
and you'd be there,
that this didn't change anything.
All while my body let you hold me, limp and unfeeling

My mind meanwhile screaming:
"No!
This changes everything!
Do you not realize what you've done?
Do you not see my world self-destructing at your feet?
Things are over!
Nothing is ever going to be the same."

But...
those words were silent.
My lips returned your kiss,
again and again and again.
My eyes flowed rivers
I did not want you to see
(though you seemed blind to the sea growing around you).
My heart fell to pieces,
shattering...and shattering and shattering
into so many slivers,
slivers that cut so fine and so many times
I couldn't believe I hadn't died.

And you thought you freed me,
from something I no longer loved,
something that no longer suited me.
You know nothing
if you believe that's true.
But still I press
knowing it's for the best.